Let’s Chat: Conversation-Starting Book Covers

I mean, an apocalyptic title in itself seems like a conversation starter in a world that has become increasingly more hostile toward people of color and marginalized people since 2016, which then had a nice pandemic covering layered on top. But that’s not all! I have questions! There is a person in a space helmet? And an orange-is-the-new-black outfit? Pushing a flight-of-the-navigator-shiny-level car? I want to talk about the world this very scene is in and where we fit in it — or don’t.

This is a grab a bucket of popcorn and lean in kind of title. Certainly there are people who read this title and immediately raise their hand with a story of a time an animal fucked them up — obviously it didn’t END them since they’re telling the story, but you get it. Also, the cover has the obvious alligator (or crocodile, I don’t know) and scorpion, but there is a beak on there, so some sort of bird. Have you ever been chased by an angry peacock who is fighting the hubcap of your car? Because I have, and I know not to mess with them. And I’ve seen people run away from territorial geese like they’re in the Olympics. What animals do you know not to mess with?

This is THE most anxiety inducing title ever. Seriously. Like is there a protocol for this? What if both you AND your emergency contact are in an emergency at the same time and neither can answer the call? Does anyone even volunteer to be an emergency contact? What if someone put you down as an emergency contact without you even knowing?! I do not like this conversation.

Let’s go literal here and ask: how much does blood weigh? Okay, I just went to the Google — my search history is such a mess, please ignore me NSA — and the first hit was how much the weight of blood in a human body is. To think we once lived in a world where you would have to go to the library or know a scientist to maybe get an answer. Anyhoo, who was the first person to weigh blood and more importantly why? Is there a blood fetish?

Do not judge me: I am equally hungry and curious. Is this like an apocalypse forecast, or do you just put on a helmet and bib and grab a fork and knife on the way out the door? Do vegans have to stay home? Are there vegan meatballs? — the internet says yes, and claims many are THE BEST. Should everyone switch to wearing red and brown colored clothes? Seems like white clothes would immediately go out of fashion — no more arguing over whether white after Labor Day matters.

My brain had two thoughts at the same time (yes, this is possible): Is this nonfiction or fiction?; I need to find a picture of Tteokbokki. Answers: “therapy memoir;” Korean rice cakes. One part of my brain wants to have a whole conversation on the history of this dish, where it’s most popular (I know it’s in Korea, but is it street food? Is it eaten in certain areas?), and how many variations are there. And the other part wants to talk about mental illness and mental health and how desperately as a society we need to get to a place where it can be discussed with the level of non-judgement as a cold.

I knew immediately what this title meant, being Latina, but wondered how many people didn’t. It also made me think about a few families I knew whose parents always took separate flights when going to the same destination, even on family vacations. There are things that, at least in my life, I’ve only ever encountered amongst Latin Americans. If you’re on a plane with mostly Latin Americans, the second the wheels touch down on the ground, there is a sudden, collective burst of clapping that fills the cabin. I’m not sure why it always makes me emotional — in a good way.

And of course, the title that inspired this post.